Been a long time...

Yeah, it's been a while.

I got really sick with morning sickness and left of the computer almost completely.  Then, I just didn't come here.

Not much going on.  I'm finally no longer sick.  I feel stretched.  I'm in the waiting game.

I haven't felt the baby move, yet.  I think I have an anterior placenta, so it's not likely I will feel tadpole move all that much.  

Life is just pushing on as it does.  A lot of my friends think I'm weird since I don't get all giddy about having a baby and just love every minute of my pregnancy like they did.  Well, I don't get giddy about much, and I'm pretty miserable as a pregnant person.

I finally had to start using my bed stairs.  I have a tall four-poster bed.  I can no longer get in it on my own.  So, I need the stairs.

And talk about timing.  The adoption agency called.  Guess what they have!  It's their policy not to adopt a child out to a pregnant couple, though.  It's biracial and everyone on their list wants a white child except us - we don't care about the race.  If they can't find anyone, they'll give us a call.  So, we'll see.

I guess see you in a few more months, knowing me!  :)

Little Tadpole

Little tadpole is 2.2 mm right now. It has a strong heartbeat. We got to see and hear it! My levels are good, and I go off injection progesterone in one more week!

Grow, little tadpole, grow.......

It's all about to change....

Wednesday night I ran out of my drugs after taking Wednesday's dose. I'm scheduled for Friday to get my pregnancy test, so do I fork over more money for drugs I may not need, or do I change my appointment for Thursday?

Thursday morning I wake up really early and am bleeding. I'm really freaking out at this point. As soon as I get to work, I email my nurse (the phone won't work until 8:30 am). She calls so quickly after I email and tells me to come on in.

I go in, get pricked, and talk to her for a little bit. We talk about my migraines and how bad they're getting. She gives me the okay for caffeine!!!! She also gives me some progesterone that another person donated (so sweet!).

I go back to school. It's my planning period, but I proctor my tests & quizzes for my students who are in our Academic Support program. We have proctors, but we don't have science proctors. They are not able to reword questions or have memory triggers from what we did in class. It's a tough quiz, and there are four kids I'm working with very closely when the nurse calls. I step outside the testing room and answer the phone.

Nurse: "How are you feeling, Dana?"
Me: "Nervous."
Nurse: "You shouldn't be."
Me: "You mean....?"
Nurse: "Yes, Congratulations!"
Me: cry cry cry cry cry

I'm pregnant!!!

I'm spotting because my progesterone levels are too low, so they added an oral progesterone to my pill collection. But, my estrogen is really high, so they lowered that medicine. That may be where my migraines are coming from since they've gotten so bad.

I don't think reality has set in. I mean, man, I'm pregnant. I don't know how many yet. I will find that out next week when I go in for my "first" ultrasound. So today, I'm cleaning out the home office, because that's going to be our nursery!! We're not moving the furniture until we're into the second trimester, but it needs cleaning out anyway.

Wow, I'm pregnant. Life has changed...

One week down; one to go...

My FET was 8 days ago. My pregnancy test is in 7 days. I've tried not to analyze everything that I feel or think. A few hours after transfer I started to get the beginnings of a migraine. Thankfully it stayed low grade, but it stayed...until Monday. Tuesday was a great day! Then Wednesday hit.

I've had migraines for 18 years. I know how they start; I know how to take care of them. But, my migraine meds are off limits as of transfer. So Wednesday morning I wake up and can tell one is coming. Usually, at that point I would take an imitrex shot and a long hot shower. But, imitrex is not allowed. So, I suck it up and proceed to vomit my intestines up.

Two hours and five vomits later I'm in tears as I tell my sub what do, prep seat work for the kids, and call my chiropractor and doctor. I have a fabulous (and painful) massage. I go home and fall asleep. The nurse calls and gets the particulars of my migraine history and my current migraine. She tells me it is probably the estrogen I'm taking. I told her it is following normal pattern. She called back and said I could have my imitrex until I have a positive pregnancy test. UGH! 6.5 hours and 2 doses later, I can finally crawl out of bed without a migraine. If I had taken that shot at 6:00 in the morning along with my shower, they would have never known at work that I had woken up with a migraine!!! So, I lost a day of my week.

My father did a good job with the shots, but I'm glad my husband is back. There's just something creepy showing one's backside to one's father.

Today has been a roller coaster ride. I got home from a school activity and found blood when I went to the bathroom. It was light pink, and I haven't seen it since. Implantation? I'm hoping. As I said before - seven days left.

The transfer

I had the day off yesterday. I woke up at 8:00 and felt really nervous. It took me a while to figure out why I was so nervous. I wondered - "What if this doesn't work?" Then I realized it' not what if it doesn't work. If it doesn't work nothing changes. But if it does work - my life will be completely different.

I drank my water like a good girl at 9:30. By 10:00 my bladder was angry with me. My husband and I walked into the procedure room and saw a picture of two blastocysts on the computer monitor. I walked up to the picture and pointed at it, unable to speak. The nurse started to explain it's because they were frozen and then thawed. I stopped her and then asked in a choked voice, "Are those mine?" She smiled and said, "Yes! This is where the tears begin." She hugged me and then told me to go get ready - but not to go to the bathroom.

I got ready and assumed the position. She laughed that I had gotten on the bed and stirrups correctly without being told how. I had obviously been through a lot of monitoring.

The embryologist came in and talked to us about the procedure. It was the first time I had met him. He was really nice. He is from Hungary and has a cool accent. He is also extremely professional and has a comforting demeanor.

The RE came in and got us started. It went very quickly. Before I knew it we were done. The embryologist came back in and shook our hands. He then handed Jason a copy of the blasts! I'll publish them soon, but right now I want to keep them to myself. Right now, they're my kids.

So, my two week wait (2ww) is here. I go in April 3 for my pregnancy test. Until then, I consider myself pregnant. No caffeine (yikes!), migraine meds, alcohol, etc. And it begins...

The verdict on the shots...

They really aren't that bad! I've been on an online forum for support. They have just complained about the progesterone shots and I had gotten really nervous about them. I promise you tetanus shots are harder than these guys for me.

Yeah, my husband is really awesome!!!

And it starts....

My first progesterone shot was today. I sat for 30 minutes on a heating pad and waited for my butt muscles to warm up. I prepared the shot and called my husband.

I leaned over and he asked if I was ready. The needle was definitely noticeable unlike the HCG IM shot. He checked for blood and started the plunge. He did inject slowly, so the actual injection did not hurt. He pulled out, and whoosh........blood comes out. I filled up almost the entire napkin we had ready. I now have a little band-aide. I'll have lots of band-aides by the time this is over....... Overall, wasn't bad. Don't really want to do it for the next 14-16 weeks, but I think it is definitely worth a pregnancy.

Transfer is in about 108 hours. Counting down....